a change in tide

sigghhh.....

i have been recommended by my chem prof to tutor for the subject next sem. ironically, he says it at a time when we are faced with the chapters in chemistry that i know nothing abt, or am too lazy to learn. it is so different from my usual attitude at the start of classes, when i even read 4 chapters in advance, problems and all. now... gosh, i can't even look at chemistry right now.

while this is a welcome development, it puts me in a somewhat awkward situation, since a week before, i had already expressed interest in doing work at the library (yes, yes, i know, BORING, but its the books and the quiet work that appealed to me). i've even become close to the librarians, who i believe have taken a liking to me, putting me in a good spot to secure the part-time position.

to tutor or to bookkeep? i have been doing the former for free for a while, and now there's a chance to get paid for it (and talk to people, which i like). but there's the library, and the advantage of that is i can get to study in quiet as opposed to being asked for study help (crucial during exam weeks). i like both!!! oh what to do, what to do? haaaaay!

then there's mr chem, whom i can't understand right now. he completely avoided me yesterday, whereas the day before, we were chummy-chummy. sigh. a part of me has given up, despite being told he does NOT have a girlfriend. one, because my other friend also has a HUGE crush on him, and two... well.. i dunno. i do have his cellphone number though (and a picture, to boot), but it seems so useless... sigh.

on a happier note, i have been making progress with biology. my bio professor knows me by name (perhaps because of my good performance), but i've also taken to asking material questions from him. he likes it, and even remarks that by the way i debate or ask, i should become a lawyer. but bio class isn't half as fun as my chem, only because i have more friends with the latter.

and what a sight we are! there are two of us who are asians, one is caucasian, one is indian, the other black-american. despite the torture we go thru, we manage to talk, laugh, and tell stories.

update shmutdate!

its time for my weekly update again! and mind you, this will be short as i need to study for 2 bio exams this week (!!). i've procrastinated enough over the weekend already and i seriously need to hit the books..

blah blah blah... MOVING ON!

first off, i got to read the new harry potter book, in a straigh 8 hour read no less! i must say, it's MUCH BETTER than the one before it. the angst are gone, the plots flow smoothly, leaving the characters definitely and wonderfully maturing word after word. this one also pretty much explains the whole shindig of what happened, what's happening, and what harry is really supposed to do. a nice pre-wrap up, you might say before the final book. gaaa, can't wait for it already! and the ending... THE ENDING!!!! (hehe!)

lastly (nye, dalawa lang pla!!), i got my frickin' DRIVER'S LICENSE!!! passed the driving exam, baby!!! wohoooooooooooooo!!!! story on that fateful day will follow shortly (which prob'ly means one week from now)

OKAY! i really got to study! byeeeee!

taking it to a higher level

i've taken a step further and begun to really tutor one of my classmates in chemistry. she and i have now scheduled plans to meet up for study sessions at my place.

i've taken a step further and gone and met up with my friend that i met at a bus. i now have a playmate for playstation games, a fellow fan of anime vcds, manga and books. on her part, she has another someone that loves her dog as well.

i've taken a step further and have begun to use a little bit of playfulness with mr chem. i have elbowed him, slapped him when he pulled my hoodie, and even attempted to lock him in a cabinet. i think he gets it already. sigh.

seriously, what is WRONG with the philippines????

words can't even express how sad i am with what's happening to my country. my poor poor beautiful country...

there are so many rotten characters plaguing it. ironically, they're running the country. they're running the uneducated masses. they're in every nook and corner, and while they can be the shady small-time criminals lurking in the dark, they can be sometimes dressed in legal authority uniforms.

corruption IS the biggest disease, yet another problem lies in the fact that there isn't anyone anymore willing to step up to take charge. as jose rizal said, 'that the good do nothing is enough for evil to succeed'.

it is blindness. the perpetrators have the blind ambition to more wealth, their greed for each of their own has resulted in the downfall of hundreds of thousands of others and the total economic plunge. the victims have the blind notions of instant rewards and changes, relying on the capacity and false promises of others rather than themselves to change for the better.

the rallies. they will never end. they've lost their purpose - change. its all just about complaints. and people, as a fact, are and will never be satisfied. again it is blindness. it is nothing more than another person's bid for power, yet they do not realize it.

and history will repeat itself. we will always find ourselves in the same hole.

my poor beloved country :(

kilig update! a (sad) decision! and a new friend!

three days ago, i found a way to take a sideshot of mr chem's profile (layo nga lang.. pero may basta may pic! SOUVENIR!!!) AND realized that same mr chem (sagwa ng 'boytoy' e) knows my name (weeeeee!!). two days ago, i see him first thing in the morning at school (GREAT way to start the day, i tell you), then at lunch, i got up the nerve to invite him over to share a table with me and my friend, he sits opposite me (my friend leaves, but what great timing and convenience!), we chat, he's concerned abt my grades (hehe, i just said i did ok.. but i got an A on my last exam! INSPIRED!!!), i found out he's a book lover as well, then he helped me out on a missing lab book problem.

THAT problem was a major downer, of course... BUT, he kept comforting me that everything would be okay. talk about having lows and highs at the same time!! he is such a sweetie *sigh*.

i get home. THEN came the dreadful dull pain. what if he had a girlfriend? how could he NOT have one? somehow, i couldn't brace myself for this (or ask him directly abt it), so i left myself with the decision (deep breath) to not ponder on him too much. bawasan ang pagcra-crush. that means less going to him to ask help for chem. ok na rin, para d obvious. sigh.

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i am now becoming fast friends with the lady i met on the bus. turns out she's an avid book reader and an otaku, too!

really, it's so surreal how we just clicked, we being total strangers. she even has a dog, too!

some small interesting stuff to share

all it takes is a smile
amazing how people just come up to you when you flash a smile at them. three days ago, i did it to a 30-ish lady at the bus, and by the time we got dropped off, we were walking, talking abt ourselves and day activities, and exchanged email addresses! (gaaa! she even emailed me yesterday!) she also showed me a shortcut from my normal 1-hour walk from bus stop to home (thereby cutting it to 45 min!)

that was surreal. the email was a shock even.

then on gym the other day, i flashed a smile to this old lady in the aquafit class, then she comes up to me and asks me abt my name, my birthplace, and talks about her involvement in and feelings about the class!

waaah! instant conversations with just a smile! aliw!

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a reason to go to the library
and for once, it's not abt the books. drumroll please, welcome CH's new boytoy of the moment.

ahehe. didn't want to sound too aggressive (desperate?) on that one, but yes, CH has a semi-crush on someone right now. and since she has no one to tell, (and no one really reads her blogs anyways), she had no other option but to just write abt it.

but so what does CH exactly do abt it? when there is the slight need for it, she passes by library to ask questions, even for just a glimpse and quickie respons from mr tutor. pasimple lang para d obvious. of course, at one point, i was not sure if i could approach him again considering one of his students at the time pointed at me as one that DOESNT need chem help (i got an A on an earlier quiz). his reaction? "i didn't know that" (sabay smile sa akin). ahehe, mejo nabuking ba? ewan. pero tuloy pa rin CH at asking questions. and yes, CH smiles at him often and even waves.

then there was this one time i visited my other friend at the library, who coincidentally is another tutor like him. so off we went, the both of us just chatting, when he slides in to join our conversations. no biggie talks to remember, just lots of laughs. i did get to tease him twice tho. heehee (man, i am NOT acting my age here).

haay. should i follow thru or not? tadadadan.......

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aargh. chemistry again...
sigh. had chem exam just two days ago. btw, semi-c passes by my cubicle at library to greet me and my classmate with "good luck ladies". aaay! *heart flutters* hope me didn't give myself too much away, but needless to say, i was smiling right up until exam started. (gak. screwed some easy questions, but not thru any fault of semi-c. loko loko lang talaga ako pagdating sa tests, i do good on the hard problems but mess up on the easy ones. grrr.. pray i still manage to do well).

reminder to self: need to come up with better name for semi-c.