trying to moving forward

so the deal with my friend's sister's house negotiations fell through.

i was really hoping that would turn out, but it didn't. it's beginning to look like convenience is not an option for me right now, and fate is URGING me to take the necessary steps to move out of my comfort zone in finding a new place to stay (side note: "HAVEN'T I BEEN OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE ALREADY? HOW FAR DO I HAVE TO MOVE?!?". i understand i'm WHINING... but please let me gripe!)

aside from the comfort zone, i'm trying to remind myself on what pastor jo said -- that it's imperative you let go of your old life to embrace the new life which God has in store for you. i also know that at this point, i am now in the driver's seat. i have free rein to make the decision on where to go, and i now have nobody to blame after i make that decision. it's about JUST MYSELF (and God).

but i don't know if i'm strong enough. please, God, help me. i know other people have more pressing problems than mine, but this is MY struggle, and it's pressing to ME. i'm not used to being vulnerable and being left out in the open.